When the courting and dating begins between two people, there are so many possible dynamics and situations that could occur. Like the movie, "How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days," I did my own little experiment on what women can get away with if the moment is right. It's important to absorb the proceeding information with a grain of salt and experiment within your own comfort zone. However, if you feel like the Indiana Jones of relationships and are planning on being particularly adventurous, may the force be with you.
Rule #1 Be Yourself
It sounds like the oldest trick in the book right? Yes. But it's interesting to me how far people will go to entice someones interests. For some reason, men believe that the perfect type of cologne will make a woman swoone at his feet. Truth be told, when they start to smell like the make-up/accessories department at Macy's I just want to gag. Have a gas mask ready and run like hell. That's just one minuscule example. And women do it to. We all know that one girl who puts on the bubbly face and a s*** ton of makeup. Women will literally put on a different face. It's enough to make a gran entre into a masquerade ball.
All I'm saying is that why not be your simple, untouched self? It's so easy to do nothing at all. When I first met my boyfriend I was in shorts, a tshirt and chacos with my hair haphazardly thrown up and no make up. I probably looked and smelled like I had just gotten off a rafting trip. So? He called me anyway. Give the guy a break. Don't make him peel back all those layers to find you.
Rule #2 Honesty is Actually the Best Policy
I know, another shocker. This isn't rocket science my friends. There's times during a relationship where something is said that's a game breaker. Why not save yourself a possible tiff and just throw it all out on the table? That way, your possible partner can bail early if something makes them uncomfortable or they simply don't like. The time and energy that you might have put into the relationship is saved from what would have eventually ended in separation anyway.
Rule #3 What's In the Closet?
Along with being honest, take the incentive to clean out some skeletons too. Those dirty little secrets may make you look like a rebel without a cause, but it may not settle well with a significant other. One example is cheaters and I must say I loathe them. "Once a cheater, always a cheater." I've dated one and I got hurt, so I have no reason to do the same thing when a similar outcome is highly probable. Save yourself from the heart ache and "give [out your] dirty little secrets." You're welcome.
Rule #4 Not perky, Just Positive
Negativity is not attractive. I can't stand to be around people that exude negative energy. We all know that one person that just bitches all the time and has nothing nice to say. They tire my out and make me feel like crap. Who would want to date someone like that? I'm not saying that you have to be Miss Perky penny (see Rule #1) but have an upbeat attitude on this journey. It will make a difference to both individuals involved. And you just might learn something along the way...
Rule #5 Forever the Student
Some people despise school but this isn't like that at all. All i can say is take some time to genuinely learn something about this person. Sometimes while walking to class or standing in like I'll compliment someone on a "cute dress" or "great shoes." It may start up a conversation and I spend 30 seconds acknowledging a fellow human beings existence. It's nice to have those simple warm fuzzy moments. My significant other raced motocross, a subject that I know noting about. But I sat down with him and tried to understand it better and I found it's pretty damn cool. While I expanded my knowledge frame, he was happy that I spent my time learning about something that was extremely important to him. Can you say Girlfriend Points? I think yes.
Rule #6 Introducing....Timon and Pumba
Disney had it right with this childhood favorite. I use Hakuna Matata on a daily basis along with C'est la vie. For those of you who don't speak French (or only know dirty phrases) it has the same meaning. As my mother so gently put it, "shit happens." If that doesn't get through to you, she also kindly stated, "Life's a bitch, be a bitch back." Wait, I'm getting off course here. Some people believe that there is a pre-designed plan for their life path. Call it God, a higher calling or just good ol' luck but I believe the same thing. When things get rough, I always believe that a) something good will come of it, b) I will learn a lesson from the experience or c) eventually everything will work out just fine. I luckily mastered this ideal during my late teens when, of course, I thought my world was coming to a crashing hault. Psha drama queen. But this wonderful notion started applying to my dating life too. Post break-up I would inhale a pint of hagen daaz and come to the beautiful realization that it was probably for the better. And the world continued spinning. Pre-relationship I was doing the same thing. If he doesn't call, doesn't care, or doesn't really like me, it's whatever. It wasn't meant to be. The almighty power just knocked on my door and exclaimed, "Don't worry about it! Here's some more icecream." So ladies, when the estrogen is taking over and you're feeling just a little to emotional to be mentally stable, have no worries. Hakuna Matata. I'm serious.
This may not work for you. This is just a compilation of all the dating light bulbs I've acquired over the years and especially most recently. I pulled a dating intervention experiment with this last one and I'm happy to say that we're still happy together. Who knew? I belched, I didn't look good, I threw all my shit on the table, I acted like my weird, quirky self and I offered him every escape clause in the book. It's amazing to me that he is still acknowledging me in public as his girlfriend.
With all that said, cheers!
-E-
