Daisies, A Burger and No Reservations

I wrote this a year ago for Valentine's Day. We'll see how things change this year.....

It may be my personal opinion that Valentine’s Day is completely unnecessary.  And I will make my argument clear with just a couple of statements.  I would like to justify why this February 14th, instead of going out of my way for a guy whom I care for, I will be dressing in black and participating in non-lovey-dovey activities.

I find myself constantly surrounded by Valentine’s Day, but what surprises me the most is that it’s actually the day before.  My college sent me an email for couple’s yoga.  Thank you but I prefer to do my yoga alone while meditating, which is in fact the point of yoga.  Did I mention that I am unwillingly seeing the color red everywhere and for what I know I’m not color blind. Or would that be color-selective seeing?  Comcast just wished me a happy Valentine’s Day.  My news station just reminded me of the many dating sites available.  The “o’s” in Google are now in the shape of hearts.  I could have attended a “Bitter Ball” which is just an excuse for college students to dance like we are still in high school.  All of my taken friends are planning their events for heart day.  Its times like these I wish I could celebrate National Act-Like-A-T-Rex Day.  Oh wait, that’s April fourth.

I would like to highlight the basis of the outrageous image of Valentine’s Day.  I’m sure everyone has noticed that once Halloween ends stores start marketing Thanksgiving. And then they are filled with red and green frivolity for Christmas.  And for two weeks alcohol, ridiculous glasses, and large noise makers are the trend for New Years.  And once January 1st hits, merchandise everywhere is Red.  The blazing red that represents passion, lust, desire, wanting, longing and every other kind of affection that makes me want to up-chuck this time of the year.  Unfortunately everywhere I go there are blazing red boxes of chocolate or a dozen blazing red roses ready to be purchased for some woman.  Though I do love chocolate and the smell of flowers Valentine’s Day takes these two affectionate gifts and blows them out of proportion.  Instead I begin think of who long I have to spend in the gym to work off the said chocolates or if I will sneeze because the scent of the flowers are too overwhelming.  I am just so against the holidays that are thrust upon me and makes it seem so easy to spend hundreds of dollars on a simple day of celebrating love.

I have made it clear that Love Day is extremely consumer driven.  But what about the people who can’t shell out money for the people they love.  If it is love, an individual should be able to show it in simpler terms.  Flowers, chocolates and expensive dinners are some commodities that love birds can’t afford.  Showing affection shouldn’t have to cost a fortune.  Where is the value in those things?  Sure it’s flattering but not essential.  Love itself is a priceless value.  For those of you who have someone that you truly love in your life, you know what I’m talking about.  Love means that you are happy with spending a couple hours just sitting in someone’s presence.  Love in itself is a valuable gift.  Give it and you shall receive it in return.  No receipt and no price tag.

All of this talk about love has got me thinking about the actual point of Valentine’s Day.  Some people call it Forced Appreciation Day or Public Display of Affection Day.  Thank you to those who do, it makes me laugh.  But why was February 14th chosen as the day to “celebrate love?”  I have been in love.  That is something I am proud to be able to say.  This also means that in my mind I have an idea of what love actually is.  Through my experience with it, I truly believe that there shouldn’t be just one day out of 365 to celebrate love.  If love is in your life, celebrate it every day.  Celebrate it today, tomorrow, this week, next month.  Tell the man or woman that is in your life that YOU LOVE THEM.  “I love you” is just a simple phrase.  It’s just three little words. But it MEANS so much more than that.  If it’s true, say it. Right now.  Celebrate right now.

With Love.
Forever and Always,

E

Clean, Sober and High

I’m part of a generation that is consumed by society. Honestly. A college campus is a perfect example.  Take a look around and it’s not hard to see that we are so defined by the world we live in. Style, clothing, trends, images, ideas, beliefs and the list goes on.  

Part of this is the image that it’s cool to drink, and smoke and do drugs.  Though some people may regret it later, it’s perfectly fine for someone underage to go out to a bar and consume enough alcohol so that they don’t remember what happened the next day.  Or perhaps you really like to smoke pot because it’s cool and it’s what all of your friends do to hang out.

I would like to announce that I am not one of these people. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t get involved in illegal activities.

My parents raised me on the ideals of having a clean mind, body and spirit.  The way they put it is that I only have this one body for my entire lifetime and there is really no reason to pollute it.  It’s like the Earth.  We all live on this planet and we pollute it every day. And day by day, it becomes a worse place to live than it was to begin with.  I can’t do that to myself.  Call it what you may, but it sounds a lot like self harm to me.  

I don’t see the point. I never have and I probably never will. (If you are dead set on changing this about me, it is better to give up now.)  I have heard so many stories from friends, classmates, even college kids just walking from point A to B on campus.  They say things like “That party last night was awesome bro. I got so "messed" up I don’t even remembered what happened.”  Wait. Stop. Rewind. And pause.  You are telling me that you had a great time drinking and partying like a rock star with your friends, but you don’t REMEMBER any of it. I’m truly confused.  If you can’t comprehend what happened last night, how do you know if it was or wasn’t “totally awesome dude”?

I have talked to some of my friends who make a point to go out and party every weekend.  Some of them look at me like I'm crazy, stupid or both for not participating in said festivities.  I ask them why they choose to.  I have received various answers that can be categorized into certain topics.  The first is that it's just what their friends do when they hang out.  So when hanging out with your pals it's assumed that substance consumption will be present? Others insist that partying is loads of fun and a definite good time.  What entertains me the most is those people who are determined to have a good time which actually involves getting wasted or high beyond belief.  If you can't remember last night the next morning, I feel like your motivated efforts were in vain. 


I try not to judge people for the actions when it comes to substance.  To each his (or her) own. But if you are acting like a slobbering drunken idiot vomiting over a toilet I'm probably going to question your justification for participation.


I realize now that I was never introduced to this culture, as it were. My friends and I always found ways of entertaining ourselves that didn't involve substance. We just tried to have found and called in shenanigans. That's what I'm most grateful for now.  The fact that we don't need beer or pot to have a good time.  Sober conversation is much more stimulating anyway. 


In writing this I didn't intend to bash anyone or their choices or means of entertainment.  I just wanted to shed a little light from a perspective that isn't always considered. And I ask that you respect the fact that I choose to live differently and can speak freely about it.  Judgement isn't necessary or desired.  But if you would like to talk about this cultural topic, my ears are open.


One last thought:
If global warming can slowly kill off the polar bears, alcohol and drugs can do the same to you.
It's called pollution.






Stay Excellent.
-E-

There’s No Such Thing

I am the epitome of hopeless romantics.  I cry at all the sappy chick flick movies, I still believe in fairy tales and most of all I still believe that chivalry exists.

There are the few doubters that think that in this day and age, chivalry has been viciously murdered by the younger generation.  To some extent, this could be considered true. There are so many young men who don’t actually know how to properly treat a woman. And yes, some of them still think that its acceptable to flirt with a girl using middle school techniques.  I don’t care how old you are, teasing a girl or poking her with pencils or putting gum in her hair is not cool.  If you have you have used any of these techniques, or derivatives of them, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you probably won’t receive the attention you want from her.

I actually looked up the definition of chivalry just to find the real meaning in it.  Chivalry first appeared in the medieval times and signified the way knights handled their horses. In some ways that makes sense: show it respect, treat it well, etc.  But in the 21st century, things have definitely changed.  Unless you live in England or Europe you probably won't meet a knight in white shinning armor that will whisk you away, ride off into the sunset, fall hopelessly in love with you and treat you like a princess in his royal castle.  It's time to get off that fantasy horse and face reality.

Today, men probably won't be using techniques to handle horses for women.  That will come with a hoof kick in the wrong place.  But it suggests that the principles are the same, but the execution is definitely different.

First thing is first: the three R's. I will go all Aretha Franklin if I have to but in truth, it is such a simple concept. Respect yourself, respect others and responsibility for your actions.  The Dali Lama takes all the credit there.  If you can't respect yourself as an individual, chances are you won't be able to pull off the second task.  I won't go all Aretha Franklin on you (R-E-S-P-E-C-T) but it's a big deal. This is something unbeknown to the human eye and it is constantly taken advantage of. At the end of the day it it something truly powerful to be able to respect yourself and respect others. There is no greater courtesy than that.

For those who do believe in chivalry you might visualize something along the lines of a "gentleman" opening the door for a lady, offering his coat to her or even tipping his hat as he walks by.  Though this may sound grand in any woman's ear, it is so much simpler. It's not chivalry. It's kindness and consideration. It's small gestures that puts a smile on someones face.  It's a moment when an individual takes a couple of seconds out of their day to spend it on a perfect stranger.

When looking at all of the death and destruction in our world, simple courtesy to strangers puts a smile on my face and gives me a little hope for humanity.  "Chivalry" is just good hearted selflessness. Why shouldn't it be embraced and practiced in our everyday lives?

From another stand point (that is not necessarily feminist), chivalry can be overdone.  I was once in a relationship where this young man would open every door and pull every chivalrous move in the book.  There came a point where I said enough. I would much prefer you start up a warm car and let me open my own damn door. I would much prefer you let me do something myself so I don't feel completely helpless. Really, it's cute but with a grain of salt please.

Chivalry exists, it's just changed incredibly. It's the small things that add up and make you smile. But don't over do yourself.



Stay Excellent.
-E